One Step Closer
by AnimeniacAnonymous
Summary: Each of them knew what despair was. Until, one day, they didn't.


Okay, story number one. Just in time too! This story has not been edited so any mistakes that you find are mine alone. I hope you guys enjoy.

~AnimeniacAnonymous

One Step Closer

They had each been there before: balancing precariously on the precipice that existed between sanity and despair. It would be so easy to let themselves fall. It was only because someone had taken the time to see how close they were to breaking that they were still here to this day, standing tall and living life to the fullest.

Gokudera Hayato's journey began when he was eight years old: the day he had overheard the maids talking about his heritage. It had shattered every idea he had about who he was and where he belonged. He had run away that very day. The descent that followed was a slow and steady pace. A kid can't live by himself, no matter how adult he tries to be, so the silverette had spent years searching for a Family to take him in. But every time, he was denied entry. 'You're just a kid.' 'You're a spoiled brat. You know nothing of Mafia life.' 'Useless brat.' Even though he would deny it, every time he heard something like that it became easier to truly see himself as worthless. So he had sought out someone to teach him. Shamal had been his first mentor and he had truly admired the man. But the doctor's blasé attitude towards his training and his seeming disinterest in the youth as a person had made it impossible for the young bomber to find acceptance there. When Reborn had called him over to Japan in order to challenge the newly appointed Tenth Vongola head, Gokudera had eagerly accepted. Finally, someone saw his worth and he could prove to everyone that he was somebody. When he only failed miserably, the Italian youth had been more than just discouraged. He had been disparaging, berating himself for his foolishness and uselessness. When the Tenth then showed him kindness, it had been so unexpected that he had desperately clung to the one source of acceptance he had ever known. But despite this new-found security, he found himself standing on the very edge of despair: Gokudera felt like he could lose this anchor at any time if he did not prove himself worthy of the Tenth's trust. It wasn't until the Vongola heir yelled at him to give up the Storm ring in order to save his own life that the bomber began to gradually back away from the precarious ledge he had stood on. It had told him that someone saw value in him just as himself, not only as a subordinate or Guardian. The Tenth had continued to reinforce the fact that he valued Gokudera as a friend, as a person, not just as an asset. Not only that, but it had introduced him to a huge variety of people who counted on him, who saw him as someone of worth. And the more time the silverette spent with the Decimo, the farther and farther the pit moved away. Until finally one day, after his confrontation with the Primo's Storm Guardian, when the Tenth Vongola leader had told G that he was a dear friend, Gokudera finally bid that sad and sorry state farewell forever. Sawada Tsunayoshi, the Vongola Decimo, had rescued him and he tried every day to display not only his gratitude to the man, but also the level of respect and love he had for the one who had shown him where his home was and for the family he had found there.

Yamamoto Takeshi knew how he appeared on the outside: the perfect athlete, the popular boy, the nice guy. Ever since he had started playing baseball, he had been praised as a natural. For a long time, he believed that: that he was a good athlete, that he was strong. But that was shattered. He was pretty sure it all began towards the end of his middle school athletic career, when puberty had gifted some of his rivals with the bodies necessary to compete at their peak and he had been left behind. Though he had followed shortly after, Yamamoto had come face to face for the first time with his own weaknesses. So he had trained hard; harder than he ever had before to compensate for his shortcomings, and for a while, it worked. Yet, the harder he worked and the better he did, the more afraid he became of losing it all. Once he had gotten into high school and become a regular on the baseball team, that fear pushed him closer and closer to the brink. It started affecting the young man's performance. Yamamoto was not achieving the results he so desperately wanted. Around that same time, Sawada Tsunayoshi, 'Dame-Tsuna', was starting to become gradually more and more competent. Even though Yamamoto had never really participated in the name calling, he had never thought the other boy capable of the feats that he was now performing seemingly overnight. When he had finally reached the edge, he had desperately searched for something to hold onto, something to help pull himself away from the pit that lay before him. So he had turned to his newly reformed classmate for advice. It had been less than satisfactory. 'I guess…more effort is the way to go…I think.' What a useless platitude. But it had reinforced in him an idea that Yamamoto had always subscribed to: work hard and you will be granted success. When that advice only led him to a broken arm, it had devastated him. All that he had was baseball: he wasn't smart; he didn't do any other sports. A key part of his identity was slipping rapidly out of his grasp. He had seen no other way out, so he had climbed to the school's roof, determined to quit while he was ahead. The young man hadn't meant for it to become such a spectacle: he blamed it on his undeserved popularity. But when his classmate had come forward to stop him, he had been mad. The so-called 'Dame-Tsuna' was standing before him and, for whatever reason; he seemed to think that living was better than failing at everything you held dear. When he had tried to make the other see his point of view, the other boy had dismissed his concerns like they were nothing. So he had called the other out on his hypocrisy, but his response stunned him: 'It's because I'm no good.' That statement had shocked him so much that Yamamoto had stood and listened to the words coming out of Tsuna's mouth. It all made sense when the boy said it that way. It made him realize that he still had so much to do with his life, that throwing it all away because of a broken arm and perceived failure was a sure way to leave with regrets. Tsuna's kindness had pulled him back from the edge of despair quite literally. So he had no qualms about becoming Tsuna's friend and then later his Rain Guardian. He finally had something other than baseball to contribute and having that goal, having people who relied on him and on whom he could rely, made his life worth living.

Sasagawa Ryohei had one motto that he lived by: in whatever you do, do it to the EXTREME! It was a principle he had followed from a very young age and it had defined who he had become in so many ways. But sometimes, during the rare quiet moments; like the few minutes before he fell asleep as he was completely exhausted by the day's extremeness or the few minutes after he woke up not quite able to summon up the energy needed for that first jolt, Ryohei wondered when that motto of 'To the Extreme!' became a camouflage rather than a way of life. He had always been a little intense, even as a child. It wasn't so surprising then that a lot of children around his age didn't know exactly what to do with him. Any friend he made was quickly chased away by his extreme drive and forceful nature. Over and over the white-haired lad had comforted himself by saying that he could definitely make friends to the extreme. And they would be the best friends he could ever find anywhere. But as the years passed and no one had stepped forward to become his friend, Ryohei buried himself even deeper into his boxing passion: which only further alienated him from anyone else really, other than his sister. He was never actively bullied but, perhaps far worse, he was often ignored. The kids would whisper among themselves 'Look away before he tries to recruit us.' 'Don't get involved with that guy, he's incredibly intense.' Almost in response to that, the boxer began to ramp up his extremeness. At the very least, when he was out there doing incredible things, he was not being completely ignored. And thus it went up until his second year of high school. When he had first seen Sawada run through the streets, clad only in his boxers yelling at the top of his lungs, Ryohei had felt like he had found a kindred spirit. Only someone as intense as he was would pull such a crazy stunt. So when he found out that the kid was friendly with his sister, he asked her to bring him around so he could meet the guy firsthand. Up close, Sawada seemed like a disappointment. He was frail, a bit excitable, and he was always shrieking in fear. But Ryohei was determined to drag that extreme nature he had seen before out into the open. So he had sparred with the kid. That was also a bit of a disappointment. He had dodged well enough, but he never really threw a punch so the match was mostly just Sawada trying to escape from Ryohei. The boxer had tasted the bitterness of defeat in that moment, but then the brunette had surprised him by suddenly increasing his determination and drive in order to save his little sister from that thug. It was so strange to see someone who only moments before had been a quivering mess suddenly shoot up and punch another guy into oblivion. But in that moment he had decided to let Sawada call him 'Onii-san', in gratefulness for saving his beloved sister. For a while, that seemed to be the end of that. Every now and then, he had tried to coerce the kid into the boxing club, but every time he had wiggled out of it. So he was still alone and left to deal with his extreme nature on his own. But then, something extremely amazing happened. First off, Ryohei was defeated in a major way: broken bones and everything. He hadn't expected someone whom he had never met to suddenly pull something like that. But the more surprising thing was when Sawada burst into his hospital after he had been treated, looking panicked and concerned in equal measure. It was like he cared about the white-haired boy. This feeling of being cared about only cemented itself in place when he went along with the boxer's (admittedly poor) excuse to his sister. When Sawada then went and took revenge for him, 'Onii-san' was floored: because not only had someone cared enough to try to help him, but also because just after that whole fiasco, the kid had stopped running in the opposite direction whenever he saw Ryohei. Sure, he still refused to join the boxing club, but he didn't leave the older boy to be by himself anymore. A strange and floaty feeling had entered into Onii-san's heart. It felt like belonging. And, finally finding a place where he was not only tolerated but accepted made Ryohei finally able to come out from behind his camouflage and devote himself to being who he really was: one extremely good boxer, an extremely protective big brother, and an extremely bright Vongola Sun Guardian.

Lambo, at five years old, was too young to even know what despair truly was. To him, the fact that he could never beat Reborn, the times when I-Pin whacked him for eating up her candy, whenever someone denied him what he wanted: that was despair. Fifteen year old Lambo knew better. He knew what it was like to be rejected by his birth family the Bovino's. Oh sure, they sent him missiles and grenades when he was young, but gradually those gifts stopped. And over time, it was like they had forgotten he was a Bovino to begin with. His mother, his father, the Bovino family Head; Lambo never heard from any of them. He would often find himself wondering about what they were doing and how they were. But every time he tried contacting them, his inquiries went unanswered and so he was left in the dark: discarded and alone. Oh sure, the Vongola family had been kind enough to give him a home, and yes they had even given him the title of Lightning Guardian, but there was still something so painful about being let go from the ones he had considered his family. Besides, the Lightning Guardian seemed, at least on paper, to be such a dubious honor. Basically, his job was to attract the danger that threatened the family and act almost like a lightning rod to divert it? So, he was the sacrificial lamb of the Vongola Guardians. That realization, along with finally understanding that he would never have a place within the Bovino family again had shown him true despair. It wasn't until he saw Tsuna fighting with everything he had to keep him safe, trying desperately to keep him out of the line of fire, that he had begun to change his mind. During the whole fiasco with the Simon family, Tsuna had even said that there was no reason to risk his life for the Vongola family: that he could stand behind Tsuna and hide if he wanted to. But that option had caused him to see for the first time that he wanted to be depended on. He wanted to be useful and help the Family that had let him stay and cared for him when his own family had abandoned him. Tsuna didn't see him as a lightning rod, even with his special ability to handle more electricity than should be humanly possible. He saw him as someone dear to him; someone to protect. That realization, along with the realization that the rest of the members (with the exception of Mukuro and Hibari who seemed to care about nothing) felt the same, had drawn him away from the pit he had been staring into for what seemed like forever. It gave him the strength to fight and the courage to go on despite his fear. It gave him heart.

Chrome Dokuro, or rather Nagi, had been unwanted from the very beginning. Born to loveless parents, perhaps in an attempt to salvage the rapidly decaying relationship they found themselves in, she had always known where she stood. Nagi was an outsider: someone who didn't belong and someone who could never belong in that family. When that marriage had ended, her mother remarried. For a brief moment, the dark haired girl had hoped that this time would be different. She had wanted to believe that she could be wanted somewhere. The disappointment when she found out that it was not to be the case was sharp and fierce. She found herself adrift: alone and abandoned, with not a friend in the world. Chrome tried making friends with children her own age, but she was much too shy to really stand out. And the kids mocked her for her strangeness. Helplessly, she had tried clinging to something. If she could not be loved, perhaps she could be needed. But even this was not to be the case. Her mother and step-father pretty much ignored her unless she did something wrong, but even then often left it to the servants to take care of. The maids she interacted with were there for a paycheck: nothing more and nothing less. At school, she was so isolated that the only time Nagi was even acknowledged was when the kids needed someone to taunt. It had left her with nowhere to turn. Wallowing in her self-pity, she had noticed a cat in desperate need of help. Stranded in the middle of the road, it was going to be killed. Seizing at the last desperate straw, Nagi had thought nothing of throwing herself in front of a car to save it. When she was in the hospital, she heard her guardians talking about her as if she were already dead. She supposed that in their minds, she already was. When she heard a man talking to her in her head, Nagi had thought she had finally tumbled over the edge into insanity. When she saw the man with the strange eyes and hair, she hadn't known what to say. But he had smiled at her and told her that she may be of some use to him. It was the first time she had ever been told such a thing. So, after allowing him to replace her organs, she had adopted a new name reminiscent of her savior's: Chrome Dokuro, the property of Rokudo Mukuro-sama. For the first time, she was able to contribute something to someone else. It had been the happiest she had ever been. The fact that she was merely tolerated by his other followers and, when Mukuro-sama was away, was just as isolated as ever barely even registered. She clung to her place despite knowing that the man who was her savior had no regard for her at all. She was a doll: his to use however he wished. When Chrome was told that she, along with her master, were to become the Tenth Vongola's Mist Guardians, she had thought nothing of it. Mukuro-sama had agreed, whatever she thought of the matter was irrelevant. She had been surprised, therefore, to finally meet her new Boss. Sawada Tsunayoshi was about as timid as she used to be and looked pretty much as weak as a person could get. But Mukuro-sama had told her about this man: that he was not what he seemed. When all his other Guardians seemed not only reluctant to let her in, but in fact seemed utterly opposed to it, she had felt again that sickly sense of not belonging. Chrome had left it up to the man she and Mukuro-sama were supposed to be assisting (Mukuro-sama insisted that he was only serving under the man so he could possess him and gain control of the Italian mafia). He had looked right at her: she had felt exposed beneath his gaze. As though he was able to see who she was underneath it all, and then some: see past her to the man who stood behind her. It was an unsettling feeling to be sure, but Chrome had been so relieved that he accepted her help that she kissed him on the check as a way of greeting. Even so, she was not inclined to join them for their little huddle. Boss had accepted her, but the rest had not. And no matter what, she was not to allow herself to become aligned to the Tenth rather than Mukuro-sama. So she had fought, and fought, and fought again. Over and over again until she felt like she would break. But the Tenth Head did not give up on her. In fact he put around her people who seemed to care about her personally: not just Chrome Dokuro, Vongola Mist Guardian, but also Nagi, poor and forlorn Nagi. Over time, she gradually began to allow herself to hope for something more. She allowed herself to hope that she, and eventually Mukuro-sama, would be allowed to be a part of his Family. When Boss risked everything to save her, when he made sure that Mukuro-sama was released from Vindicare Prison, she had been ready to cry. Finally, finally, someone saw her as someone of worth, not just someone to be used. Chrome finally had a home.

Rokudo Mukuro knew about despair; oh yes, he was intimately acquainted with it: the scent, the sight, the sound of it were all ingrained deeply into his consciousness. It was no surprise really; every life has at least a little bit of despair in it. So for someone who remembered every step of his journey of reincarnation, it was a certainty that he would remember what it felt like. But without a doubt, his human lives had tasted despair the most bitterly. Every time he had lived as a human, his life had been filled with despair and this latest life was probably the worst of the bunch. Mukuro had no happy memories from his childhood. For as long as he could remember, he and all of the other children of the Estraneo Family had been used as guinea pigs for human enhancements and weapon development. Those procedures had been so painful, so all consuming, that he had seen many lose their minds or their lives. He was sure, in the deepest parts of his mind where he had buried his human nature, that he must be a little mad too. The boy with the heterochromatic eyes and the quiet personality was often the target of the most abusive experiments. Of course he was quiet; Mukuro remembered all kinds of suffering. But that didn't mean that he was going to lie down and take it forever. So he had bided his time, thought of a plan, and let the despair reach its critical point before going berserk and killing every single one of those monsters. From then on a sarcastic and mocking smirk resided on his face. He had seen the edge of despair and was hanging on by the fingertips so that he would not fall in. If he truly lost himself in that darkness, his plan to punish all of those fools in the Mafia who had turned a blind eye to their suffering would never come to fruition. So Mukuro hoarded it and he never let himself forget that feeling. Everything seemed to be going fine for a while; he had used Lanchia to completely destroy one of the more minor Mafia families in Northern Italy. Then he, Chikusa, and Ken, along with the controlled Lanchia, began to wreak havoc in that area for several years. Unfortunately, this led to them all being captured by Vindicare, but it was a minor setback at most. He had plotted and formed alliances and waited for the right time to break out of the most secure prison in the world. When he heard the whispered rumors that one of the most powerful Families in the world was currently going through a change in leadership and that, shockingly scandalous, one of the candidates was a small civilian child in Japan; Mukuro knew it was time. He and his compatriots busted out and immediately made their way to Japan where they began to search for the candidate. When they had found and kidnapped Fuuta, the teen had been overjoyed: this would make their search far easier. But, the small boy had followed the code of Omerta perfectly and had revealed nothing. So he had been forced to improvise. He used the already formed list of strongest fighters in the school where the rumored leader-to-be went to weed out who the Family was and what their fighters were like. He had waited patiently until he found out, to his joy, that the rumored Family was the prestigious Vongola Family and that their supposed leader was to be a small, meek, and utterly weak child. During their fight, he had originally been overjoyed when Sawada Tsunayoshi had developed his latent talent. It meant that it would be much easier to take control of and then destroy the Mafia world. But then he was defeated and sent back to Vindicare. There, after a failed escape attempt, he was thrown into the deepest pits of Vindicare and left to rot. When he had contacted Nagi, his hopes had been rekindled. She provided an opportunity to escape and she was so willing to be exploited. When the vaunted Lion of Vongola asked him to be Sawada Tsunayoshi's Mist Guardian, he had accepted. Not because he liked being the dog of a Mafia Family, but because it provided multiple opportunities to possess the boy. Although he had been surprised to see and feel the boy's concern for him, he had stowed it away for further consideration. Pity didn't exist in the Mafia world and, even if it did, he refused to accept it. Over time, as he interacted with Nagi and as he watched Sawada Tsunayoshi through her, he felt his grip on the ledge of despair tighten and felt the strength to climb out returning to him. He had fought it: told himself time and again not to fall for it and not to let all his planning go to waste. But, after the whole ordeal with the first Mist Guardian, after Sawada Tsunayoshi freed him from Vindicare, he began to realize that this whole 'I'll possess your body' plan was a farce at best. He would never be particularly friendly towards the boy or his band of merry men, but he could at the very least admit to himself (and perhaps one day to the boy himself) that he had already abandoned his plans for the destruction of the Mafia. Sawada Tsunayoshi had plans you see: plans that would take the current Mafia system and burn it to the ground, only to be rebuilt in the vigilante image that had been all but destroyed by the second Vongola Head. It would take work but, the child was determined to see it through. And if, by chance, working with Sawada Tsunayoshi would attain that impossible goal, well Rokudo Mukuro was willing to abandon the despair he had clung to in order to get it.

There are two types of people in the world: the herbivores and the carnivores. The Hibari family was the latter. Those two facts had been hammered into his brain since the day Hibari Kyoya was born. Quite literally, he might add; if he felt generous enough to talk about himself. As the only son of the prestigious family, a lot of hopes and expectations were piled onto his young shoulders. But, if he ever complained or even gave the slightest indication that he was becoming overwhelmed by his burden, then punishment would follow. The Hibari patriarch was a strict and harsh man: rarely home enough to even remember he had a son until he received word of a perceived shortcoming on the boy's part. He believed that it was better to be feared than loved and that fear meant the same thing as respect. These were the principles he raised his son to follow. And Kyoya was a fast and perfect student. For as long as he could remember, the ravenette had trained himself physically and mentally, in order to achieve the perfect control that his father demanded. He began to recruit subordinates whom he subjugated with his tonfas or his sharp temper or, more frequently, both. Pretty soon, everyone in Namimori was subject to his will. And if he was lonely and apathetic, who cared? He was feared by all and all respected him. Of course, he was never one for crowds so, even if he had people he could call friends, he wouldn't exactly hang out with them all that much. But, in the deepest recesses of his mind, where he had shoved every fear and insecurity, he admitted that he at least wanted somewhere where he would be welcome if he wanted to be there. It seemed that Kyoya was destined to be a lonely mountain, untouched and unwelcome. When he first heard of Sawada Tsunayoshi, he had thought nothing of him. He was just another herbivore: weak and unimportant. The only thing about the boy that interested him was the infant who hung around him. He was strong and Kyoya had been taught that he needed to be the strongest. So he often searched for opportunities to fight the baby, which was how he found himself roped into all kinds of mayhem. He never really insinuated himself within the group of misfits that had gathered around the biggest misfit of them all, but he was never really pushed away either. Well, except by that stupid pineapple, but the feeling was mutual. It was absolutely clear that Sawada was terrified of him. He always shrieked in fear and ran in the opposite direction whenever Kyoya showed up. It had reminded him once again of his father's lessons and of his secret want. Obviously that made him all the more irritated at the herbivore, which led him to be even more violent and led to a vicious circle that seemed as though would never end. But, eventually, after the herbivore had acquired some strange sort of talent while fighting with a group of people who wanted some ring for some reason, he had stopped running away. Sure, he still drew back a little in instinctive fear but gradually, even that began to stop. Finally one day, Kyoya noticed that he was looked upon as an ally. At first, due to his upbringing, he had rebelled against the notion of ever being someone's ally. That was almost like being a subordinate, and a Hibari is never a follower. However, Sawada never treated Kyoya as though he was a subordinate, despite all of the others looking up to him as leader. He never sought to subjugate any of them: not even the stupid pineapple, who became more of a rival rather than an enemy over time. After some sort of fight to save the babies from something, it became clear to Kyoya that he was welcome with them. He had a place to belong, should he want to. It was what he had always wanted and been too afraid to hope for. Not that he let any of the other know what he was thinking. But he never left and he never faced against them in any sort of conflict after that. Every now and then, Kyoya would even seek out Sawada for a spar, something he had never foreseen himself doing. It made him realize that rather than two types of people in the world, there were actually three: herbivores, carnivores, and omnivores. He thought he could live with that.

Reborn knew what despair looked like and what it sounded like. He confronted it every time he went out on a hit. The target, if he even knew the hitman was there at all, often experienced that particular emotion as he was staring at the barrel of the gun pointing straight at him. They would plead and cry and their faces would take on a look of terror which would gradually fade into emptiness as their lifeblood left them. Reborn knew all these things but, as a hitman, he never experienced them. It was one of his policies on life: a hitman does not despair. And, as the best hitman in the world, he had followed that rule diligently; up until the day that he had been turned into an Arcobaleno. On that day, as he had stared at his shrunken frame, Reborn felt a foreign feeling well up within him. After a while, and some intense introspection, he had come to the horrifying conclusion that he was feeling despair for the first time in his life. That feeling was almost as bad as being turned into a child again. The hitman had tried running from it, but how can you run from your own body? After several years of unsuccessfully trying to find a cure for his curse, he had finally accepted the fact that there probably wasn't one and that he should adapt to his life as a permanent infant. He was strong and adaptable after all: both excellent qualities for a top notch hitman. But try as he might, Reborn just couldn't find it in himself to let this go. So he had sought out Shamal, looking for a way to seal all the depression and anguish he felt at his circumstances. Someday perhaps, when the wounds were not so raw, he might be able to come to accept his fate. But first he needed a clear mind, so all that despair and anger needed to go. Shamal had been reluctant at first, but Reborn had a lot of connections and was quite formidable even as a five year old. Finally he had relented and granted the Arcobaleno the clarity of mind needed to process what had happened. During those years, he had been called upon for many missions: assassinations, interrogations, hostage negotiations, even tutoring duty. And he had powered through the emptiness until one day he felt he had the strength to face his fate unhindered. After having the block removed by Shamal, Reborn had temporarily been out of commission as he fought against his inner demons. But finally, he wrestled his emotions into submission. Even if he still despaired of his fate, he no longer allowed the emotion to dominate him. It was right around this time that Reborn agreed to train Dino to be a Mafia boss. It was hard work: the brat barely qualified as a low-rung grunt, but he was expected to be the leader. Over the years, Reborn had whipped him into shape and had turned him into a fine boss, the kind any Mafioso could be proud of. But, despite striking up a kind of camaraderie with his student, the baby hitman hadn't really allowed Dino to get close to him. He kept the boy at arm's length, and the kid seemed to accept it. A few years later, Nono asked him to train one of the candidates for the Vongola Decimo. He had agreed only because it was the ninth Vongola head asking specifically for his help. Reborn had travelled immediately to Japan and had met his utterly useless student. While Dino had had potential as a grunt, Dame-Tsuna had no potential as a Mafioso whatsoever. Privately, the hitman thought that maybe the Nono was going senile seeing as this was his choice for the tenth Vongola boss. But, as time went on, and his student improved; and as the kid built and maintained a strong and close-knit family, Reborn began to see that his student was actually someone extraordinary. Throughout every fight, even though he ran and shrieked and tried to weasel his way out of it more times than not, the Arcobaleno saw Tsuna grow from a timid little kid to something resembling a man. And, over time, even grow to become probably the best Mafia boss Reborn had ever seen. Even more impressive was that, unlike Dino, Tsuna refused to allow Reborn to maintain his distance. He forcefully, probably without even realizing that he was doing it, insinuated himself with his tutor. During the Arcobaleno fights, when the truth finally came out and Reborn had tried to save his student from a life-threatening battle, Tsuna had threatened to fight him over a watch that would inevitably end up as a death warrant. It was then that he realized how much he had come to depend on the brunette: once a no good kid and now a confident and strong man. He hadn't realized until that point how much he had come to care for the kid. Once his student had broken the curse, had granted his ultimate wish, Reborn felt himself begin to let go of his regret, anger, and despair. True, he had suffered greatly due to the Arcobaleno system, but all of that had brought him to a very special person: to Tsuna. And Reborn realized that it had all been worth it.

Tsuna had known despair for as long as he could remember. As a child, he had been shy and had isolated himself from others his age unless his mother or father were there to facilitate the interactions. That isolation continued into his elementary and middle school years as his shyness also led to timidity. All of this had made it very easy for his classmates to pick on him. The fact that his nerves and anxiety had made it difficult to concentrate on school work had not helped the matter. Now, due to his failure at academics, his teachers only, whether intentionally or not, contributed to his withdrawal. He wasn't good at sports, he wasn't good at school, and he wasn't outgoing at all. Tsuna had no traits that would make it easy for him to have friends. Also, he had a niggling suspicion at the back of his mind that he was somehow different from all of his peers, though he was not really sure where it came from. Tsuna had never felt particularly special, just different. But, despite all of this, he had held out hope that, someday, he might find friends who he could fit in with despite his oddness. So the despair had never over-powered him. And his hopes all began to be met the day that a crazy baby hitman showed up on his doorstep claiming to be a tutor who was to teach Tsuna how to be a Mafia boss. Of course, he had denied that fact straight away. He was different, not evil. But, gradually, Tsuna began to meet people who were slowly being devoured by despair. He was not sure exactly how he knew that fact: it rarely showed on their faces, and more often than not he didn't know the best was to help them, but at least he could recognize it and do everything in his power to pull them away from that pit they were staring into. Over time, the brunette could feel himself succeeding. One by one, his guardians…his family, began to turn away from that darkness and walk towards a light that he tried so hard to show them: a place to belong, a place to be needed. And it seemed to work. As they got older, as he had finally been persuaded to become a Mafia boss (albeit not a traditional one, he was going to follow Primo's example), he noticed the difference. Perhaps because of his Vongola Intuition, or maybe because he had spent so much time with them, Tsuna began to see a difference. Hayato no longer tried so desperately hard to be the best right hand man ever: he spent more time being one of Tsuna's dearest friends. Takeshi smiled with more freedom and had more confidence in himself than he had before. Onii-san still did things to the extreme, but he seemed more settled than before: as though he had finally stopped trying to prove himself. Lambo stopped crying quite so much and held more pride in himself than he had before. Nagi slowly opened up to them all, she was never particularly affectionate, but she had stopped hiding behind Mukuro and had stepped out on her own. Mukuro had finally stopped threatening to possess him and, even though he still denied it vehemently, had found his niche in Tsuna's family. Kyoya, while he still maintained his distance, never seemed to mind 'the crowding' the same way he had before: it was more of a long suffering exasperation than anything. And Reborn, well he still was a hitman, but he had learned to show mercy and had begun to really smile for the first time since ever. And, as he watched them all grow and open up, Tsuna could feel himself backing away from the precipice as well. He wasn't 'No-Good' anymore.


End file.
